31 October 2011

Being a Mother

Salam alaik...

What is the hardest thing about being a mother? A friend asked this question the other day... and I struggled to answer! After several minutes of pondering the obvious answer (lack of sleep, lifestyle changes, marriage changes, etc...) I finally responded, "really enjoying and appreciating each moment..."

Well, before my son was born I thought the hardest thing about being a mother was waking up 10 times in the middle of the night to calm a crying baby. Or maybe not having any free time to do anything I wanted. Or possibly it's the extra weight that you gain, or the stretch mark, or the sore nipples after breastfeeding, or the lack of sleep... However, none of this things scared me away from wanting to be a parent. I was ready to make these sacrifices and I did it when Ammar Hakimi was born. None of these things were hardest for me... Alhamdulillah...

But, the hardest thing about being a mother for me was the responsibility and the influence. When I look at Hakimi I wonder what kind of person he will grow up to be. Will he be good, kind, honest, trustworthy? Or will he grow up to be selfish, lazy and cruel? I can't help but realize how much influence I have on that and how much responsibility that is.

So to me, the hardest thing about being an 'ibu' is living my daily life in such a way that would shape him to be a kind, honest, godly and selfless man. Why is this hard for me??? Because I realize that in order for me to instill these qualities in my little boy I must first have them inside myself. It's hard to watch everything you say or do to make sure you are setting a good example for the little ones in your life.

Now for me personally, my major trouble is that he does so many wonderful things and is growing up so fast that I am afraid I will forget some of the cute things he does along the way... Ibu sayang Hakimi... Semoga menjadi orang yang bijaksana dan warak seiring maksud namamu, anakku... Amin...

3 months old Ammar Hakimi

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